Anxiety is a dirty word!
I'm having a little bit of mommy anxiety right now and well I'm going to use my blog to breathe out a little ... and seek any words of encouragement from fellow moms out there!
I decided pretty early on in my pregnancy that my intention was to breasteed my baby girl for 12 months. And while I wouldn't define Reagan as an "easy" baby (whatever that means since I have no other babies to compare her to) I have to say so far so good in the nursing department. It's been great, honestly, ever since she was born nearly 4 and half months ago!
Anyways ... this weekend I will be away from my sweet baby girl for almost 24 hours at a bachelorette party for my dear friend Liz@Two Maids a Milking. You can probably tell where this is going ...
First off - I'm SUPER excited about the bachelorette festivities for one of my last single friends out there!
Second - I'm scared to death about leaving Reagan for that long. Here's why ... I'm afraid I don't have enough "expressed" breastmilk to keep her happy for that long. So that means I have to supplement with formula. NOOOO ... I don't want to give her formula!!! For some reason the whole idea of it kills me and is giving me serious anxiety. I don't have anything against formula per se - but the whole nursing routine has worked out so perfectly up to this point - I hate to screw it up.
Third - I really want to enjoy the party to the fullest - we are heading up to my ol' alumna mater - Purdue University - and will be visiting at least one of my favorite establishments in the area. So ... yes I'd like to have more than one drink (ie. the limit if you are breastfeeding) So that means I have to "pump and dump" my milk. And by the way - I hate that word - dump. So that may put me back in the formula supplement predictament yet again when she goes back to the sitter on Monday.
Holy smoke! - I have anxiety just thinking about how all of this is going to work out. And Big D isn't necessarily helpful in soothing my anxiety, because he has all sorts of worries himself as he is planning to take care of Reagan most of the time, along with my mother-in-law ... overnight.
I've called both the lactation consultant and Reagan's doctor for suggestions and recommendations - but it's not helping me. It's not about me, but in a way, it kind of is. I'm both EXCITED and WORRIED about this weekend!! I'll be about 1 1/5 hours away - so getting home quickly isn't really an option - plus with the whole drinking thingy - driving altogether isn't really an option. And how on EARTH am I going to be able to get myself up in the morning and drive home at a decent hour before the milk runs out at home. Ok ... obviously I should calm down ... Getting calmer now ... A glass of wine would help ... too bad they don't carry one in the office vending machine. *sigh*