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Anxiety is a dirty word!

By December 09, 2010 , , , ,

I'm having a little bit of mommy anxiety right now and well I'm going to use my blog to breathe out a little ... and seek any words of encouragement from fellow moms out there!

Here's the deal ...
I decided pretty early on in my pregnancy that my intention was to breasteed my baby girl for 12 months. And while I wouldn't define Reagan as an "easy" baby (whatever that means since I have no other babies to compare her to) I have to say so far so good in the nursing department. It's been great, honestly, ever since she was born nearly 4 and half months ago!

Anyways ... this weekend I will be away from my sweet baby girl for almost 24 hours at a bachelorette party for my dear friend Liz@Two Maids a Milking. You can probably tell where this is going ...

First off - I'm SUPER excited about the bachelorette festivities for one of my last single friends out there!

Second - I'm scared to death about leaving Reagan for that long. Here's why ... I'm afraid I don't have enough "expressed" breastmilk to keep her happy for that long. So that means I have to supplement with formula. NOOOO ... I don't want to give her formula!!! For some reason the whole idea of it kills me and is giving me serious anxiety. I don't have anything against formula per se - but the whole nursing routine has worked out so perfectly up to this point - I hate to screw it up.

Third - I really want to enjoy the party to the fullest - we are heading up to my ol' alumna mater - Purdue University - and will be visiting at least one of my favorite establishments in the area. So ... yes I'd like to have more than one drink (ie. the limit if you are breastfeeding) So that means I have to "pump and dump" my milk. And by the way - I hate that word - dump. So that may put me back in the formula supplement predictament yet again when she goes back to the sitter on Monday.

Holy smoke! - I have anxiety just thinking about how all of this is going to work out. And Big D isn't necessarily helpful in soothing my anxiety, because he has all sorts of worries himself as he is planning to take care of Reagan most of the time, along with my mother-in-law ... overnight.

I've called both the lactation consultant and Reagan's doctor for suggestions and recommendations - but it's not helping me. It's not about me, but in a way, it kind of is. I'm both EXCITED and WORRIED about this weekend!! I'll be about 1 1/5 hours away - so getting home quickly isn't really an option - plus with the whole drinking thingy - driving altogether isn't really an option. And how on EARTH am I going to be able to get myself up in the morning and drive home at a decent hour before the milk runs out at home. Ok ... obviously I should calm down ... Getting calmer now ... A glass of wine would help ... too bad they don't carry one in the office vending machine. *sigh*

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5 comments

  1. All I can tell you is that when I was breastfeeding, my pediatrician 'strongly urged' me to feed formula once in a while. He believed (and I agreed) that it was important for a baby to be somewhat familiar with the taste of it 'just in case'. His 'just in cases' included women who had emergency surgery and broken limbs while breastfeeding.

    If you decide to do the temporary formula thing, find out which one has the least sugar (don't want her to get used to anything too sweet). Maybe combine formula and milk if there's enough.

    Good luck~and have fun!

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  2. I like Sally's advice. Your little one really will be fine, but it's the emotional "stuff" on your end that is tripping you up, and that is so understandable. All a mom can do is her best. You might be all ready to have a seat with your favorite drink at Harry's or the piano bar at The Cactus, and then find you really don't want it. Or you do. Just go with it and do not beat yourself up either way. Sunday or Monday will find you back to situation normal. Just make happy memories and have fun!

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  3. I call this "New Mom Guilt". Place this anxiety in this folder and file it.

    You know ALL of the problems I had. During my pregnancy (s) I wanted to breast feed. Because of a seriously difficult birth, I was unable to breast feed.

    When it all comes down to it at the end of the day; Reagan is loved, she is fed, she is sheltered. She will be fine. Mom and Dad on the other hand suffer the anxiety.

    Have a good time, you are allowed!

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  4. Deep Breath! I agree with all the above she is healthy loved and fed! I wish I could tell you something magical to make it all better, but no one really can! All 3 of mine were raised solely on formula - I think once the weekend is over you will feel better, you will have had a good time with friends and realize that all is OK! I do agree that you might want to get her a taste for the formula before you leave as well so that her first feeding with it isn't without a backup of breastmilk!
    Relax and have fun with your friends I truly believe it makes you a better Mommy when you take care of yourself and have fun!

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  5. Okay, so I was just like you. And I made it...12 months, no formula.

    So here's what I would do - be the designated driver or, if you're not planning on pumping during the night, just wait until after your last pumping session to start drinking.

    Pump an extra time tonight, tomorrow morning and tomorrow before you leave. Feed her immediately before you leave.

    Everyone is different, but for me, one weekend of fun wouldn't be worth it.

    So that wasn't helpful compared to the other responses, was it? Sorry. :)

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