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Tripping from the Guilt Trip

By January 24, 2011 ,

After 28 years, I have discovered or pinpointed if you will - my ultimate pet peeve. I think I've been in denial for sometime that I even have pet peeves because if you know me, you know I'm pretty laid back and don't get peeved about much at all.

Whelp so much for that ...

So what is this recent revelation  ... I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT STAND WHEN I GET THE GUILT-TRIP.

I'm not sure if I have a sticker on my forehead sometimes that says, "Hey, make me feel guilty about something, anything."

Ever hear the phrase ... "Some things are better left unsaid." Yes ... I like that one and I exercise it because I don't want to say something to make someone feel bad to make myself feel better. Unless maybe they are guilty ... of a CRIME!

Anyways, I'm afraid I'm coming off too harshly. I should explain where all this is coming from to better illustrate my point.

I have been breastfeeding Baby RayRay for 6 months. Yay...milestone achievement, right?

Or ... not.

Not if you're RayRay's sitter and nearly every Monday (for the past 4 months) she struggles to readjust to having a bottle and not Mommy. And who can blame her, Mommys are awesome!

RayRay is the only one at her daycare on breastmilk and my sitter is not 100 percent supportive of my journey to feed RayRay only breastmilk for 12 months. Let's be honest, I'm not sure she's even 50 percent supportive.

Don't get me wrong, she is absolute wonderful lady, wonderful with RayRay and just overall super super nice! But ... she's getting tired of fighting with RayRay and the bottle and gives me the guilt-trip about not switching her to formula, already.

So ensues the guilt-trip on Meggie. I get the guilt trip about not bringing enough breastmilk. I get the guilt-trip about not giving her any bottles over the weekend or holiday breaks. I get the guilt trip ... I think you get the point here. Listen, I'm sorry, but it's not real conveniant to pump (meanwhile RayRay is screaming) and then feed her a bottle in my off time. I pump enough at work when I get home, I'm kinda done with it!

As you can see this guilt trip thing really irks me, but its part of life. And soon enough I won't let it bother me too much. But I'm not sure anyone likes the feeling of being guilty, whether you are guilty per se or not. So after the guilt-tripping, I go through like a solution phase, where I determine how I can make this person understand what's going on and come up with some sort of compromise so I can take the sticker off of my forehead.

In this situation, I've decided to try yet, another brand of baby bottles.
Avent- NO.
Playtex-MAYBE, if I feel like it. (She gets this attitude from her daddy)
How about ... The First Years Breastflow Technology. We'll see.

I'm sure my sitter will let me know and then once again try to encourage me to cut off the breastfeeding. Well in some books, 6 months is impressive and baby we're going for 12 (months) so somehow I'll get my sitter online and maybe, just possibly limit the guilt-tripping!

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  1. Hey! Here's a little praise to combat the guilt..good for you for making it so long! I'm envious, all three of my kids were huge breastfeeding battles and none of them made it to six moths, so I have a whole other form of guilt over that. Such is motherhood I guess! Seriously, stick to your guns! You're the momma and you know best!

  2. I'm a new follower and we have several common blogger friends. Stick with your breastfeeding as you can and as your baby gets older she'll get used to the back and forth and transition to bottle. I breast fed while being a working mom and just learned to combat those guilt trip comments myself. You are giving your child a wonderful gift by any breastfeeding you can do. Congrats on making it 6 months!

  3. Oh girl - been in your shoes before - exactly!!!! My advice - YOU do what YOU want to do. Although you are super grateful to sitter for helping out and you don't want your child to be tough for her - she is YOUR child! Other thing - here's my take on bottles -- I know they can be stinkers and refuse them but they will eventually take them when they are hungry enough!! (This from a B-Feeding mommy of 3!)

  4. Hang in there! I'm right there with you, although my baby boy is ok with a bottle. But the pumping at work, on the road, in meetings, argh...it's rough but worth it. And like Amy, this comes from a breastfeeding mama of 3!!

  5. You go girl! I don't blame you for not wanting to pump all the time i had to exclusively pump for 3 1/2 months until baby hailee decided to start nursing... luckily i dont have to worry about a sitter right now but i also don't understand why everyone..(including some of my family) can't just say thats cool we'll make it work....? Good luck!

  6. Good for you for sticking with breastfeeding! Just a thought, have you given your little one a sippy cup yet? If she dosn't like the bottle she might enjoy just drinking your milk from a cup instead. Good luck!

  7. Stick to your guns, girly! I had a family member (my husband's elderly grandmother) who tried to discourage me from breastfeeding because she thought for sure it was contributing to Adam's reflux. I kindly told her to shove it. Something along the lines of, "I know you think I should quit breastfeeding, but I'm NOT going to. The doctor and I agree that it is best for Adam. So do not suggest it to me again." And I told hubby and his mom that if she said anything more to me about it, I was not going to be nearly so nice, and she would miss out on seeing her first great grandchild until we were done nursing.

    Motherhood is full of guilt trips. But I firmly believe that most of us do what we think is best for our babies and our families. That may mean different strokes for different folks, and that may mean that sometimes the families come before the individual baby, but in the end, it's all good.

    (And sorry for guilt tripping you on your last breastfeeding dilemma!)

  8. Just went back and read the comments...I second the sippy cup idea! See if she'll take that better!

  9. All I can say is that I think it’s awesome that you’re still breast feeding! Don't listen to other people. People often made comments to me about the inconvenience of me nursing my little girl. I think there will always be a few, no matter what you do, that have a better idea or way to do something. Don’t feel guilty. You’re the mama and you know best for your baby! Kudos!

  10. A Momma has to do what a Momma has to do. People don't have to like it; they just need to deal. You can "nice" that up and use it if you need it! ;-)

    Stick to your guns! I only made it about 2 months with the girls, but I was OLD! That AND they didn't nurse well so I pumped THEN fed them from a bottle. I was pooped, but I did it as long as I could!

  11. We got your back so don't let her bother you. Little Sissy was ok with bottles, but we basically had to dehydrate her before she would drink from a sippy cup and I got the guilt trip from everyone. I'll be thinking of you.