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Making sacrifice is tough stuff for this momma!

By September 30, 2011 , , ,

I am fairly indecisive. Always have been. I have trouble deciding what restaurant to eat at, what furniture to buy, what to wear to work and what color to paint my nails. Though, I do like having options and I am always up for seeking assistance in making decisions.

Here's where you come in ...

Being a new mom, I make decisions for Baby RayRay everyday. And many times, those decisions affect my life, which is completely fine, though not always easy.

Here's the situation ...

I have lots of hobbies, lots of things I am involved in and that I love doing. I bet you can see where this is going ...

Since I have become a full-time working mommy, I have began to sift through some of those hobbies letting go of things I no longer feel I can dedicate my time to. Because for me, my priorities right now are my family, my full-time job and everything else.

Everything else includes my church, working out, my 4-H club, my horse, my cows, my blog, my Mary Kay business, my involvement with local and state farm groups and so on and so forth.

As for the horse, she is the one who comes into play here. I bought her in 2008 as a companion to my main horse - Jack (who I had owned since 1989). When my beloved Jack passed away in January of 2010 (I love him and miss him to this day!), Roxy became a lone wolf. During this time I was pregnant so she didn't get a whole lot of attention. Then when RayRay was born, she got even less attention.

You may remember I rode her for the first time (after 20 months of non-riding) just this past June. It was better than I could've imagined. Roxy was a total sweetheart and it was beyond wonderful to be "back in the saddle." Well that was June and I've probably ridden 4 or 5 times since then (now nearly October). In addition to that, since Big D tore down my rusty ole' horse barn, we had to move her to a stable. So now, we're paying to "board" her which is near the equivalent of having a second child at daycare. And it doesn't look like that situation is going to change in the near term (more on that later!).

As I begin to think about having another child someday, I can easily imagine even less amount of time that I will have to spend with her. And she totally deserves the time.

Also, something else I've been thinking about it ... is teaching RayRay how to ride. Of course, this is something I want to do. I learned to ride when I was about 4 and have been riding ever since. There are only a few things in life that I believe I am good at and this is one of them. I mean I don't mean to brag or boast, cause I'm not like that. But ya know while I wasn't athletic or super smart growing up, I sure could show my horse and win a few blue ribbons at the county fair.

However, Roxy is not a kid-safe kinda horse. In fact, she is a retired racehorse, a Thoroughbred. Though she is a sweetheart, I'm not about to put my child on a horse that I know can run at a supersonic rate of speed. I want an old, yet responsive horse, that knows what to do and how to take care of a novice rider.

So basically I'm thinking about selling Roxy (or trying to). This breaks my heart, because it means I won't own a horse (for the first time since 1989) anymore and how will I KNOW if she's going to a nice home. And will Big D allow me to get another horse someday, he says YES, but why do I tend not to believe him.

I want to know how did you make those big sacrifices for your family of something you truly loved, but just didn't have time for anymore?

And when your kids were older, did you resume your favorite pastime. 

I have "advertised" my horse as "for sale." Though, I'm not sure in my heart of hearts I want to sell her. People have asked me for info on her, but I really don't want to give them any.

But it's not about me as much any more - it's about RayRay. How can I make these kinds of decisions without compromising my role as an awesome momma or losing sight of my very unique self?

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  1. A few thoughts on this Meggie. First you have to keep some time for yourself in motherhood. Keep a hobby and if it is your own time with horse than make it that. But if it is a financial burden I would sell the horse and make it a goal to get back into horses as a hobby in 5-7 years when your kid(s) can join you. Don't lose it though. Moms tend to get so wrapped up into family and those priorities I think we lost a bit of ourselves. It's being selfless and is best in many cases. A happy mommy makes a happy child. Do what you need to do to make yourself a balanced, happy mom and wife!