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What it's really like to be married to a farmer

By September 16, 2011 , , ,

Or maybe I should say "What it's really like to be married to MY farmer." Because as we know - he is my crazy-pig-farmer-hubby and my experience is probably at least a little unique.

You are alone a lot
In the spring and the fall - I am basically a single mom since he is out in the field getting the crops planted, sprayed, ground worked or crops harvested. In addition to that, 365 days a year, 52 weeks a year, 7 days a week, 10-12 hours a day - he is taking care of our hogs and managing the farm. Meaning, we can't always go to events I want to go to, vacations and getaways have to be well-timed and generally, I do all the planning. And sometimes things happen and our plans are cancelled and it can be heart-breaking. Since I grew up on a farm, I sorta knew what I was getting myself into when I married a farmer - but that doesn't always make it easy. I don't always like to go shopping alone, to my parents house alone, my in-laws house alone, to dinners alone and events alone - but I do - and I understand. And my daughter - she essentially goes everywhere with me (besides work) - because Big D isn't necessarily in the house in the evenings - he can't always play babysitter when I'm out and about. So she goes on errands with me - she goes to the mailbox with me - she goes to evening meetings with me - hair appointments - you name it - she is probably with me. It's tiring at times - but I just can't stand to sit in the house and not go out and do things. And when Big D can join us - it's amazing - I love our time as a FAMILY - I cherish it. If it's something I really, really want to do as a family - he will plan his day - and join us. He makes the effort and I appreciate that.

He doesn't do yard work
Sometimes I joke with friends that I wonder what it would be like if Big D worked an 8-5 job. My guy does NOT work 8-5 and he does not work 5 days a week and have 15 days of vacation. Oftentimes, he gets home after dark and works every weekend, with essentially ZERO vacation days unless I plan them in - which I do. He really doesn't have TIME for yard work - so if I want it done - I better just roll up my sleeves and plan on doing it myself!

The laundry is BAD
When Big D comes in the house - his clothes smell, his hat smells and his boots - oh my! - are sometimes so disgusting that I make him turn around and put them right back outside even if it's means them getting rained on. I don't have a new fancy front-loader washing machine - mine is actually pretty old - but it does the trick amazingly of washing his dirty work-wear and not necessarily helping it smell good, but at least it won't smell like pig poo anymore.

The honey-do list gets done slowly
I have had items on the honey-do list from 6 years ago that still haven't been finished. I have outlets in our bedroom that the man still hasn't installed. Why ... you might've guessed it, because he doesn't have time. And when he does - I want the guy to relax, take it easy and enjoy spending time with his family as opposed to giving him a list of tasks to tackle. I think that makes me a nice wifey, don't you?

The house is dirty
Since we live right on the farm and my husband's occupation is farming - particles from the farm are constantly making there way into our home. The dust, at times, seems unmanagable. The dirt needs swept up daily. Grass, mud, manure, straw, hay, corn, soybeans, bugs and cobwebs are just a few of the joys I clean up on a daily basis. I can't even imagine managing the dirt situation once RayRay is trotting back and forth across the farm and then in the house ...

But there are advantages too ...

Having an in-house handy-man
He can plumb, he can paint, he can fix electrical issues, he is a carpenter, he can assemble stuff, he can fix problems - he is an amazing handy-man and has a tool for just about anything! And that my friends, is absolutely priceless!

He comes to my rescue
I have ran out of gas on the interstate, gotten myself in desperate situations, near-death accidents, locked my keys in my car, forgotten my keys, forgotten my purse, ran out of money, and been crying so uncontrollably that I couldn't drive myself home and the farmer always comes to my rescue. He is my favorite superhero always saving me!

He works hard
You probably already caught that by now. He works hard everyday to support our family - he has a tremendous work ethic and takes pride in owning and operating his own business. He is ambitious, sets goals and dreams big. In the end, everything that he does is to ensure a better future for our children - that if they wish to return to the farm one-day it will be there to help support their families. I love that about my farmer.

He cleans up real good
One minute he is covered in dirt and the next he is looking like a Banana Republic model. The man cleans up real good, but for some reason - I find him at his sexiest when he's got his boots on.

Being married to a farmer certainly isn't glamorous, as you can see. But I love it and wouldn't have it any other way. But more than that I love MY farmer - dirty laundry and all - he is a great husband, partner, best friend and father to Baby RayRay.

 For my fellow Real Farmwives of America, what's REALLY like to be married to YOUR farmer?

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  1. Awesome post Meggie. You definitely aren't alone because I can relate to every.single.thing you just posted.

    Oh and I think baby Ray Ray will be such a good kid because you take her everywhere with you. She will learn how to act in different situations. Some parents NEVER take their kids anywhere for fear that they will act up, but that is how they learn.

  2. Meggie, this comment is long belated, but I read this post and can relate to almost everything! Thank GOODNESS our washer has a "heavily soiled" setting for farm clothes. :)

    I liked this post so much, in fact, I wrote a similar one of my own a few days ago.

    Keep up the great work!


  3. So cute and so easy to identify with!



  4. Great post. It shows that although the list of good things is shorter than the list of bad things when it comes to marrying a farmer, the good still outweighs the bad and you wouldn't have it any other way.

    We asked our members (we're a dating site for farmers and country people based in the UK) about the best and worst things about dating a farmer and there were some interesting stories: http://www.muddymatches.co.uk/dating-advice/2012/12/07/farmer-dating/.

  5. I just stumbled upon this. I am married to a farmer. Question - does your heart ever ache about all the time that they are missing with their child? Or that they don't understand how mentality exhausting a weekend with a sick child is, and wish they would come in and help?