Keeping it Real

Occasionally, I over-analyze, over-think and even overreact.

Yes, I'll admit it. This is me being honest and me being real.

I'm emotional, I'm sentimental, I care, I love, I'm a woman and most of all a mom.

I'm not going to lie, sometimes I wish I could totally just shrug things off. I wish slight comments wouldn't bug me for days.

I'm working on it.

Recently, I was told I am someone's "conservative friend." And that wasn't meant in the GOP-card carrying kind-of-way.

I'm the conservative friend, the one you introduce to your conservative parents, the one you know won't embarrass you in public, the one that won't pull any crazy stunts or pranks, the one you can count on.

That's good, right? Of course it is!

So why on Earth does it bother me? Maybe because part of me wants to be the "fun" friend. I want to be the friend you feel comfortable to confide in. I want to be the "cool" friend. Though I'm not sure that being the conservative friend necessarily puts you in the "un-fun" and "un-cool" category, but that's definitely how it came off or how I analyzed it.

On the other hand, now that I'm a mom, I don't really want to be the wild-and-crazy friend so much. I'm grounded. I'm dependable and loyal. Most of all, I want to be a role model for my daughter and my behavior, my actions all play into that.

As I write this blog post, it totally takes me back to high school, but in a good way. In HS, I never for once, tried to be anyone other than my true self. I wasn't consumed with the thought of being "cool."

I was the farmer's daughter, who loved to laugh, make others smile, write poetry, ride horses, show cattle and ride around in big ol' Ford trucks. And I wasn't "cool," at least not by whatever definition that "cool" is in high school.

While I have certainly evolved since my high school days, one thing remains the same. I am perfectly imperfect and I'm completely cool with that.

Be true to yourself, always. Be the person you want your children to be like.

So I guess with that, being the conservative friend isn't so bad, after all.

Lookin' Cute & Staying Cool!

What's a farm girl to do day-after-day-after-day of over 100 degree temperatures to stay cool this summer ...

Pool. 

Mommy even got a foot or two in ... 

Sprinkler. 

Not quite brave enough to run through, yet! But Mommy did!

Stay in air conditioning (when it's working ... when it isn't - get it fixed pronto!!) 

Lake. 

Bubbles!

Fun at the lake cottage with friends!

She wouldn't let go of the stick for the photo ... 

And repeat ...


over and over again! 

And that's exactly what we've been up to lately and exactly where we are headed this weekend (the lake that is).

My hope is that if we spend our time at the lake this weekend, it will rain at home. It rained the last time we went to the lake, so here's hoping!!! 

Happy Friday everyone!

What I Don't Want to Say Out Loud

I have been reluctant to share this post, mostly because I feel like once I publish this it will become some sort of permanent decision that I can't retract.

But it's not and I'm pretty sure I'm being overly dramatic.

You may remember last fall, when Big D and I purchased our dream farm. It really was a dream come true for us - though I'm not sure Big D would always see it that way. Despite the everyday hardships of owning and operating a small family farm business, I'm VERY proud of him and how hard he has worked to provide us the opportunity to buy our very first farm.

In my mind, I always believed that we would move to and live on our new farm. I mean, the house and the property have SO MUCH POTENTIAL.

But we agreed to wait about a year to get started on the renovations. No hurry, really.

Well guess what, we are in the process of renovating the house and cleaning up the farm, but NOT because we're moving there. We're renovating the house to rent it out, which when I say that out loud, still bothers me. But when Big D asks me, "Why, do you want to live there?" I still say "no" and here's why.

Basically, in the process of figuring out what to do, I made a Pros and Cons List (my go-to for making any kind of big decision!) of moving to the new farm or moving to (and renovating) my in-laws large farmhouse, staying in our current house and expanding or building a new house, altogether.

What it came down to is that it wouldn't be in our best interest to move to the new farm ...

• THE NUMBER ONE REASON - It's 35 minutes from my in-laws; currently we live next door to them and it has been a lifesaver for me on multiple occasions for multiple reasons!
• I love the location and promixity to the city where we live now, I'm not sure I want to live somewhere where it takes me 50 minutes to get to a Meijer or Target. And if I were ever to get a new job, my commute to Indianapolis would be outrageous, compared to about 20-30 minutes right now. Yes, we would in be a great school district for RayRay and VERY close to my current job, but maybe I won't work at my current job for the rest of my life. Pros and cons, pros and cons!!
• I really love our little house and it's perfect for us right now. We did a major renovation on the house when we moved in 2008, though it's still a work in progress. It's been in Big D's family for nearly a century and I should mention that we live rent free, for now. Hard to beat that!

There are many other reasons, but these are my top three. 

Basically, what I've decided is that in a perfect world, it would really be IDEAL to live in between the two farms - the headquarters for the grain business (where we live now) and the headquarters for the livestock business (new farm). Big D's family already owns some land next to a creek that would be PERFECT! I mean I'm just sayin'!

A girl can dream and I'm really good at dreaming and making plans!

I would love to build a house in 10-15 years and do it up right with a big wrap around porch, attached garage, granite counter tops, multiple bathrooms, walk-in closets, open floor plan, floor to ceiling stone fireplace, movie room and all the fixings I've only dreamed of. I may or may not already have a house plan picked out!

Something kinda like this ...

Source: houseplans.com via Kate on Pinterest

I believe that if we work hard, save money and make good decisions, this dream could come true someday. I mean it's not completely impossible. I could also win the lottery. It could happen. I'm just sayin'!

In the meantime, we're going to stay in our current home and continue to make improvements, including refinishing the wood floors and possibly building an attached garage and second bathroom.

I'm excited, but I still have mixed feelings about renovating and renting out the "new" house to another young couple. I feel like it's my house and maybe, we should live there. 

But the truth of it is, I don't want to move away from my in-laws into an area where we have no family, and minimal connections. It's all  about weighing the pros and cons (certinaly there are some pros, like being in a much bigger house) and some things just weigh a little heavier. Like RayRay growing up with her grandparents next door, I want that for her, because it's not something I had growing up.

So though I'm sharing this decision on my blog, doesn't necesassily mean it's a all a done deal. But in my mind it kinda is. I like to make plans, 10 to 15 to 20 years out.

Though things always EVOLVE differently then how I picture them.

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand." - Proverbs 19:21